Super Jerrie vs Cassandra and Cleopatra's Snake
by Aidylvice
Summary: The Winter Wonderland Ball seems to be going just perfectly... until Cassandra strikes.


**Episode 4: Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer vs. Cassandra and the Snake of Cleopatra**

The Madcap Adventures of

Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer

Faster than Macavity's speeding bullet

More powerful than Skimbleshanks' locomotive

Is it a bird?

Is it a plane?

Is it the Great Rumpus Cat?!

_HECK_ NO! It's

SUPER JERRIE!

And his sidekick TURBO TEAZER

A giant J flashes onto screen

_Cat Morgan, who owns an expensive antique store in London, is closing up for the day. It has been a busy day because of all the Holiday shopping. There had been five new arrivals today, including a snake made of stone. It was supposed to wrap around the arm, and had one single jewel where his eye was supposed to be. The only problem with it was that it was missing the jewel for his other side. Cat Morgan didn't know how anyone would buy it. He began to lock the door, when he is suddenly knocked out by a club_.

_**Back at headquarters…**_

Rumpleteazer: _Pulling out hair_. He's singing in the shower!!! AGAIN!

Mungojerrie: _In shower, singing_. Street rat, street raaaaat!

Oi don't buy that!

If only they'd look CLOOOSSSER!

Would they see a poor boy? No sirree.

They'd find out there's so much more

toooooooooo

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rumpleteazer: _Plugs ears_. Shut up, 'Jerrie! _The shower stops_.

Mungojerrie: Oi'm done.

Rumpleteazer: Hurry up so we can go outside! _Rumpleteazer looks outside. It has snowed, and she can't wait to go sledding._

Mungojerrie: _Walks into room with a hat, mittens, and scarf on._ C'mon Rumpleteazer. Let's go get a bowl of snow!! _A bowl of snow, hmm? Well, they go outside and get a bowl of snow._

Rumpleteazer: Oi'm going to make moi famous snow cream! _Rumpleteazer takes the bowl of snow and puts sugar and milk in it. She over stirs it._ Oi guess it's more like snow water.

Mungojerrie: Let's put food coloring in it! _Mungojerrie picks out a shade of yellow._

Rumpleteazer: Oh, that's nice. _A knock at the door_.

Mungojerrie: Oi'll look in the peep hole.

Rumpleteazer: Peep hole? That's for stuffin' peeps!

Mungojerrie: I'm gonna have to have a talk with you later. _Opens the door_. Woi, it's Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile.

Rumpleteazer: Splendid! _She brings in the bowl of yellow snow._ You want some snow cream, Cori? Oi made it special for you. _Bats eyelashes._

Agent Coricopat: _Looks in bowl._ Ah, no thank you, Rumpleteazer.

Rumpleteazer: It's a loverly shade of sunshine yellow!

Agent Coricopat: No thank you.

Mungojerrie: Are you in a good mood today, Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile?

Agent Coricopat: I suppose so.

Rumpleteazer: They're never in a good mood. _Mungojerrie elbows Rumpleteazer._

Mungojerrie: Oi'd like to make a speech, providin' you're in a good mood.

Agent Tantomile: We are in a good mood.

Agent Coricopat: Continue with your speech.

Mungojerrie: Oh yeah. _Mungojerrie looks at his paw._ Rumpleteazer and I, since we have been so good lately, was wonderin' if maybe we could have new costumes. _The twins give big cheesy grins._

Agent Tantomile: No.

Agent Coricopat: We are on a budget.

_Dead silence_.

Mungojerrie: …………

Rumpleteazer: …………

Agent Tantomile: Ahem.

Agent Coricopat: Is there something the matter?

Rumpleteazer: WE HAS TO HAVE NEW UNIFORMS!!!!

Mungojerrie: NOBODY TAKES US SERIOUSLY!!!!

Rumpleteazer: Moi costume doesn't match moi eyes!

Mungojerrie: Moi costume doesn't show off moi muscles!!!

Rumpleteazer: OUR COSTUMES ARE _SO_ LAST YEAR!

Mungojerrie: YOU'VE GOTTA LET US HAVE NEW COSTUMES!

Rumpleteazer: NOBODY TAKES US SERIOUSLY!

_The twins are now wrapped around the agent's legs._

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer: PRETTY PLEASE?!

Mungojerrie: With a cherry on top??!!!

Agent Tantomile and Agent Coricopat: No.

Mungojerrie: You'll be sorry!

Rumpleteazer: You're mean!

Mungojerrie: This is so unfair!

Rumpleteazer: You never let us do anything!

Mungojerrie: You don't trust us!!

Rumpleteazer: I hate you!!!

Agent Coricopat: We have a budget.

Agent Tantomile: We make low cost purchases to ensure some left over for your college funds.

Mungojerrie: College?

Rumpleteazer: We don't need to go to college, we're super heroes!

Mungojerrie: I'm smart as a whip!

Agent Coricopat: Don't you mean dumb as a rock?

Agent Tantomile: Agent Coricopat, that was uncalled for.

Agent Coricopat: I am sorry.

Rumpleteazer: But the reason we save money is so we can spend it.

Mungojerrie: On costumes!

Agent Tantomile: The answer is simply no.

_**Back to the Antique Mall**_**…**

_Cat Morgan lay knocked out in front of the store. A tall, slender Queen walks into the mall. She picks up the golden snake and puts a single sapphire jewel in the place where it was missing. Suddenly the snake turns bright red and turns into a real cobra. The Queen laughs menacingly and wraps the cobra around her arm. The snake turns back into gold. The Queen turns around. It's – Cassandra? Wow! Well anyway, her eyes turn red, then back to blue again._

Cassandra: All my life I've dreamed of being on stage. But now, I get to be the pharaoh of the earth. This has GOT to be put in the history books! _Cassandra has been planning this for some time now. This snake, the Snake of Cleopatra, was going to be sent to this mall. It had been passed down since the beginning of the Pharaohs. She knew that if you put a sapphire in the spot where a jewel was missing, you would harness the power. Cassandra knew this because she was there when the pharaohs commissioned the Sphynx. Plus she researched it on Google._

Cassandra: I love it, I love it, I love it! Now what shall I do first? _Cassandra can't remember what it was she was planning anymore._ I can too, you stupid narrator! Uh…oh yes! It's time for my RAAAAMPAGE!

_**Back at headquarters**_**…**

_Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are sulking._

Mungojerrie: Oi still think we should be able to have costumes.

Rumpleteazer: Me too!

Mungojerrie: _Mad_. _Then enlightened._ Hey Rumpleteazer?

Rumpleteazer: What?

Mungojerrie: Woi can't we just – borrow some of that money?  
Rumpleteazer: _Giggles._ But Mungojerrie! We gave up that!

Mungojerrie: Yeah. But this is OUR money for OUR college fund. Let's just pretend we, ya know, changed our mind about what to spend it on.

Rumpleteazer: But how are we going to get into the bank account?

Mungojerrie: By using this password: S-T-O-R-M-I-N-T-H-E-A-I-R.

Rumpleteazer: You are a smart one, 'Jerrie! Let's go through the Sears Wishbook!

Mungojerrie: Okay! _They get money from the bank, look through the CATalogue (which Rumpleteazer got the silly giggles over) and they order their super suits, with express shipping._

Rumpleteazer: Hey Mungojerrie, we'll get it before New Year's!

Mungojerrie: Hey yeah! Don't you just love express shipping?

_Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile walk into the room_.

Mungojerrie: What do YOU want?

Agent Coricopat: I have just been informed that there is a problem with one of the Jellicles.

Mungojerrie: _Defiantly_ Are you gonna make us guess?

Agent Tantomile: Well no! We don't know what it is either.

Mungojerrie: _Huffs_.

Agent Tantomile: Say it, Mungojerrie.

Mungojerrie: No.

Agent Coricopat: SAY IT!

Mungojerrie: _Flatly._ This sounds like a job for Super Jerrie.

Rumpleteazer: And his soon-to-be-naked sidekick Turbo Teazer. _They both take a long time transforming to make a point. Turbo Teazer gets in her outfit without any trouble._

Turbo Teazer: See? It's worn out. _They stomp downstairs, and out the front door._

Agent Tantomile: They are acting like little snots.

Agent Coricopat: Agent Tantomile, that was uncalled for.

Agent Tantomile: Oh, quiet!

_At the Jellicle Winter Wonderland Ball which is held in the Jellicle Barn_…

_Munkustrap is stressing out_.

Munkustrap: Demeter, dear where's the tinsel?

Demeter: I don't know, dear, I never use it.

Munkustrap: Well of course you don't! This is your first year with me!

Demeter: Are you angry at me? _Starts to cry._

Munkustrap: Alonzo, take care of this.

Alonzo: _Telling a joke to Carbucketty_. Can't.

Munkustrap: _Turning back to Demeter._ How can you cry when Jemima's sitting there poisoned?

Demeter: SHE'S WHAT!?

Bombalurina: _Smacks Munkustrap upside the head._ Idiot.

Demeter: MACAVITY!!! _Faints_.

Bombalurina: Way to go, Munkustrap.  
Munkustrap: Well! _Begins to cry._ I've been under so much stress lately! Here I am without any tinsel, my wife's fainted, and little Jemima over there poisoned by who knows what fiend! And we have got to get this done before Old Deuteronomy gets here and blames it on ME!

Tugger: Yeah that's the spirit. Hey I have an idea! Let's do Hanukkah!

Munkustrap: That's 8 WHOLE DAYS! I don't know how to make LATKES!

Alonzo: What our latkes?

Munkustrap: Potato cakes, often dipped in applesauce or ketchup. _Munkustrap says while massaging temples._ _Door bell rings._

Demeter: MACAVITY!!!!!

Bombalurina: It's worse! It's Super Jerrie!

Super Jerrie: _Coming inside._ We don't want to be here anyway.

Carbucketty: Jingle bells, Jerrie smells, Teazer laid an egg!

Turbo Teazer: _Weeps._

Super Jerrie: Cut it out! _To Alonzo_. We heard that something was wrong.

Alonzo: Oh yeah. Jemima got poked or something.

Munkustrap: SHE'S POISONED, ALONZO!

Alonzo: Yeah, that's what I meant.

Super Jerrie: Where is she?

Munkustrap: She's lying in Demeter's room.

Turbo Teazer: She's DEAD?!! _Begins to sob._

Munkustrap: No, she's resting! _Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer go into the room. Jemima is sitting on the bed, watching Frosty the Snowman._

Super Jerrie: Hey Jemima, tell us what happened?

Munkustrap: She won't talk!

Super Jerrie: C'mon Jemima. Talk. _Jemima doesn't say anything._ Go get Tugger.

Munkustrap: Why him?

Super Jerrie: Just get him! _Munkustrap brings in Tugger._ All right, Jemima. Tell the Rum Tum Tugger what's the matter.

Jemima: I was bitten by a snake.

Tugger: Then what?

Jemima: I was bitten by a snake.

Super Jerrie: If moi calculations are correct, oi believe she was bitten by a snake.

Tugger: No duh.

Munkustrap: Well who do you think did it?

Demeter: _From other room_. IT WAS PROBABLY MACAVITY!!!

Munkustrap: Thank you for your input, dear! _To Super Jerrie._ Seriously – who would bite a poor kitten?

Tugger: _Starts to say something._

Munkustrap: Zip it.

Tugger: _Looks down._ Oh you mean shut up? Well I was thinkin that-

Munkustrap: JUST STOP!!!!

Demeter: DEAR!!! I SEE MACAVITY!

Munkustrap: No you don't dear.

Demeter: NO!!!! I'M NOT BEING IRRATIONAL!!! MACAVITY IS LOOKING IN AT ME SWAYING HIS HEAD FROM SIDE TO SIDE WITH MOVEMENTS LIKE A SNAKE!!!!

Super Jerrie: C'mon. _They run into room with Demeter. Cassandra is looking in the window_.

Munkustrap: Oh no dear, that's CASSANDRA. _Emphasizing that it is Cassandra and not Macavity._

Demeter: _Wringing hands._

Super Jerrie: Woi's she looking in the window? _They don't know. Cassandra walks away, and they puzzle over it for the rest of the day._

_**That night at the Winter Wonderland Ball**_**…**

_Munkustrap has gotten everything JUST SO, and is now serving punch to Old Deuteronomy, who doesn't say anything. He isn't much more than a figurehead._

Munkustrap: _Clears throat_. And now a toast to our honored guests, Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer, who have been keeping us safe for most of the year.

Super Jerrie: Most of the year?

Munkustrap: Well before that you stole from us. _They all give a toast, except Alonzo who's too busy flirting with Victoria to notice._

Cassandra: Now I'd like to make a toast.

_Agent Tantomile slaps Agent Coricopat._

Agent Coricopat: Ow, what was that for?!

Agent Tantomile: I can read your MIND CORICOPAT! I'm not an IDIOT! _Shuns her Other Half.  
_Agent Coricopat: I was just looking at her armband.

Cassandra: I'd like to propose a toast to – Cleopatra! _Everybody looks at Cassandra. She does this a lot_. _Cassandra knocks back three glasses of punch in honor of Cleopatra. Crickets chirp._

Munkustrap: Well! Thank you, um, Cassandra! C'mon Alonzo, come help me with the Secret Santa presents. _Alonzo rolls his eyes, and leaves Victoria. All is going well, until Bustopher Jones eats the ice sculpture and gets bloated. And Victoria collapses._

Bustopher Jones: Poor thing, I made her worry. _Cassandra screams_.

Cassandra: She's been – poisoned!

Super Jerrie: How do you know? _Cassandra's face turns red_.

Cassandra: Well the same thing happened to Jemima this morning.

Super Jerrie: _Suspicious_.

_Munkustrap rushes over, and a crowd forms around Victoria. Suddenly a scream is heard_.

Tugger: Hey you guys! Etcetera's knocked out – not by me!

Munkustrap: What is going on!

Super Jerrie: She's poisoned too!

Cassandra: You don't know! Honestly! _Cassandra slinks over and her tongue flicks._

Alonzo: What was that?

Cassandra: Oh Alonzo my love! I hate it had to end this way! But of course I had to get rid of any competition. _Looks at Victoria and Etcetera._ So that everything would be perfect. Because we were meant to be together, Alonzo. Only you could make a woman feel this way.

_The armband on her arm starts to glow. Cassandra gets taller and taller, and she gets slimmer and slimmer. Her head turns giant. Cassandra is – a snake! Alonzo makes a run for the door, and Cassandra slithers out behind him._

Super Jerrie: After her! _They all run outside._ _Demeter stops to get her jacket._

Munkustrap: Dear, we don't have time!

Demeter: I'll catch pneumonia!

Munkustrap: Well if you do, we'll go to the doctor's! NOW COME ON! _Alonzo is runs around a tree_

Alonzo: If you want to BE with ME, why are you trying to KILL ME?!

Cassandra: _Pauses_. Because I…

Alonzo: I'm just not sure how well this was thought out. _Of course this flames Cassandra's anger, and she continues to chase after Alonzo._

_Meanwhile, a UPS stops out front of the Ball. The UPS Cat sees a giant snake, but mail is delivered in rain, or snow, or dark of night, so she bravely gets out and runs into the middle of the lawn._

Mittens, the UPS Cat: A delivery for Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer!

Turbo Teazer: Look, Super Jerrie! _Turbo Teazer yanks on Super Jerrie's tail_. Our uneeforms came!

Super Jerrie: _Trying to battle Cassandra._ Not now, Turbo Teazer! We have a life to save!

Agent Coricopat and Agent Tantomile: What uniforms? _Super Jerrie ignores them, and Turbo Teazer runs._

Super Jerrie: Oi don't know how to defeat Cassandra!

Mittens: Excuse me-

Turbo Teazer: Super Jerrie, you have to sign for us to get the package!

Super Jerrie: Turbo Teazer, Oi'm kinda in the middle of somethin'! _Turbo Teazer throws a hissy fit, which agitates Cassandra who lunges at Alonzo._

Super Jerrie: _To Munkustrap._ Cover for me. _Walks over to Mittens and signs for the super suits._

Turbo Teazer: Let's go try them on!

Super Jerrie: No! _Turbo Teazer slaps Super Jerrie._ Fine! We'll try on the suits!

Turbo Teazer: Yay! _They put on their suits behind a tree._ _Turbo Teazer begins to whimper_. Oi can't get it zipped! Zip me, Jerrie!

Super Jerrie: This is gonna start rumors… _Tries to zip up Turbo Teazer's suit._

Turbo Teazer: It's because I've been eating so many rum balls!

Super Jerrie: _Zips the suit._ Thank the Everlastin' Cat! C'mon! _Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer jump out from behind the tree. There suits are lemon yellow and neon orange._

Cassandra: Time to get rid of those pests! _Strikes at Turbo Teazer, who was seen flirting with Alonzo earlier that night. Suddenly Cassandra falls over with a cry of pain._

Cassandra: The tackiness of those suits! Who chose the color!

Turbo Teazer: You already troied to bite me. _Grumbles._ You don't need to insult me.

Super Jerrie: _Notices Cassandra's armband, which is now around her throat._ Oi know what oi has to do! _Runs over to Cassandra, and smashes the golden band with his supersonic shushing._

Cassandra: NOOOOOO!!!! _Turns slowly back into a Cat._ _Munkustrap runs inside to get the Jellicle straight jacket._

Alonzo: _Kicks Cassandra_. You're freaky.

Cassandra: Does this mean you're breaking up with me? _Panics. And flicks her tongue, which is of the ordinary Cat kind._

Alonzo: Straight jacket, Munkustrap. Hurry!

Munkustrap: _Comes back out with the Jellicle straight jacket._ Do you know that Old Deuteronomy is asleep? Oh well, I'm glad he had a nice rest. _After Cassandra is carried off to the asylum, everyone files back into the Jellicle barn._

Turbo Teazer: Super Jerrie! They forgot to thank us!

Super Jerrie: That's not why we save people, Turbo Teazer.

Turbo Teazer: That's why oi save people, Jerrie.

Agent Tantomile: What I would like to know is where did you get that money? _Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer are afraid to turn around._

Agent Coricopat: You heard my Other Half.

Super Jerrie: Uh…the, uh…

Turbo Teazer: We saved the day didn't we? That shows that stealing is a good thing! _Nods head. The Agents and Super Jerrie look at her like she's crazy._

Munkustrap: _Coming out of the barn._ Why didn't you say at all in this story.

Super Jerrie: Well because not everybody celebrates that Holiday.

Munkustrap: Why does it look like I cursed? is not a bad word!

Super Jerrie: Something must be wrong with the typer.

Munkustap: But I just planned a whole ball!

Super Jerrie: And gave it a stupid name. Winter Wonderland? What's up with that! But if you want me to, Merry to all, and to all a good night!

Munkustrap: It's still doing that.

Tugger: _Sticks his head out of window._ You forgot to include my favorite holiday! Happy ! Dangit, it blurred it out!

_Everyone stares at Tugger._

Turbo Teazer: Well anyway, God bless us, every one!

This story needs some explaining:

**Uncle Ted, who is not our uncle and no relation to us (he's Polish), gave me the idea for Mungojerrie's speech in this story. No lie.**

**Mittens is the family cat. She gets a role as the postman.**

**If this story sounds familiar, it's because most of it came from Aladdin. The snake, the songs – all from Aladdin.**


End file.
